July 14, 2024


First time director, Louis Joon sent me a complimentary copy of his new “gothsploitation movie”, Learning Hebrew.

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Now there are several reasons why I’m not the right person to write a review for a film like this. For one, I sometimes really like unique, original independent ‘cult’ films, and this one is just a bit on the weird side of strange. (2) I’m also a bit of an ‘anglophile’ in that I like practically everything from the UK. (3) My tastes are largely a-typical, and I think my cinematic opinion is seldom shared. For example, I really liked ‘Eat the Rich‘, and not just because Lemmy is in it.

Another reason I shouldn’t critique a film like this is that I’m not really all that mature. There are several quite comely young ladies in this film, all alluringly attired and performing provocatively. I watched this with my 19 year-old son. He noted -and I nodded- that it must have been a lot of fun filming these scenes. I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of that.

HalfrodImagine a hypothetical near-future scenario proposing two different ideas, (1) that militant religionists have oppressed dissension through the passage of strictly-enforced blasphemy laws, and (2) that atheists are everything Christians imagine that we are, amoral, hedonistic, and dogmatic, worshiping Dawkins, and proselytizing Darwinism door-to-door. There’s also a tongue-in-cheek look at ‘what if all religion is wrong, but still partially right?

I find some of the parody characters amusing too, especially the Judas Priest look-alike. He’s a suicide bomber, ready to kill or die in the name of Natural Selection. My favorite moment though is a conflict between suddenly disparate religious perspectives. A pair of thugs quit beating up on an atheist and wander away, because they’re agnostic, meaning that they lack commitment.

Much of this picture amounts to punchlines which only atheists would likely understand or see the humor in. One example of that is the faintly familiar theme song at the end.

22 thoughts on “Gothsploitation

  1. He’s a suicide bomber, ready to kill or die in the name of Natural Selection.

    Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. That’s awesome. My girlfriend and I just laughed for about three minutes, after I read that to her.


    That’s enough for me, I’m in!

    Also, who is that narrating?

  3. The filmmakers contacted me some months ago, asking if I would do a voice-over for their promo. However their publisher reportedly said that my voice couldn’t be on the DVD due to some alleged contractual situation or regional legality.

    1. I know from being an extra in The Zombie Christ that you can’t say more than three words on film if you’re not part of the actor’s guild. I suspect the voice-over issue is something like that.

    2. No its nothing like that complicated…

      The distributor had signed the contract off as complete, all release forms had been signed they weren’t prepared to re-open it and add more legal stuff, they’re quite fussy. We have a professional voice over (a Chicago accent) for the America trailer, and the leading Actress for the UK Trailer. Insurgent Films would have loved both Aron’s and Matt Dilahunty’s voice overs on the DVD, and so would the distributor for that matter,but it was just all too late. We are still hoping Peach and Cristina Rad will do promotional ones…

      As it goes, most British audiences prefer the American Trailer and most Americans prefer the UK trailer.

      We of course prefer the Aron Trailer.

  4. Having viewed the trailer and the blurb, I think I can speak for a lot of people when I summarize my impression thus:


  5. “When criticism of faith is outlawed by the Politically Correct Militia, Bella and her group of idealistic cyberpunks take Darwinism to the door steps of London. But with agnostic thugs fighting in the street and atheist terrorists attacking the liberal establishment”

    Rofl. I don’t even.

    But really, guys, only physical copy orders on the main site? No downloadable versions? What is this, the year before that kind of thing became common?

    1. Give us a break, we are down 30 Grand as it is. Thats pounds sterling. We need to get at least some of the cash back if we are to make another one…

      And anyways, its nice to own such a limited addition, isnt it?

          1. Im sorry its not down loadable yet, Im sure it will be at some point. We just need to get some money back first, down loads cant deliver that. The film has made us all so very poor. LOL.

            We have an NTSC DVD made especially for you : )

          2. “down loads cant deliver that”

            Why do you say that? Of course they can, you don’t even have to spend any money on packaging. I’m usually more inclined to purchase digital copies (ala Steam) rather than physical copies these days.

            In any case, offering *both* options couldn’t hurt your sales!

  6. Maybe you are right, Im just a script writer. But the distributor wants a year of just DVD’s, he would probably say that is the usual practice. I do think we would need to move about 30 down loads to give us the returns of one DVD. I have a deal with the distributor which is very generous, some distributors only offer 16pence per DVD sale, after the first 20 grand, and they own the copyright. Which basically means you never see a penny at our level, and I dont want to loose the rights, so will continue to be guided by the distributor. Because I admit Im pretty clueless on how to sell a movie…

    But if you would like to “like” the FB page Learning Hebrew (A Gothsploitation Movie) you will get a notification the moment it is available for down load..

    Many thanks for taking an interest…

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